There are people who seem to always achieve what they set out to do, no matter the obstacles in the way. Then there are people who never seem to get there and their life is littered with things they’ve started and not finished or that stay as dreams.

Their energy peters out, they get distracted, demotivated, or disenchanted or they feel their dreams are unachievable. They say, ‘nothing seems to work for me’, or ‘I won’t succeed,’ and there are always reasons or excuses as to why or how things don’t work out.

If you recognise yourself or someone you know in any of the above, read on!

Without a doubt, there’s something going on underneath that you’re not aware of, which usually boils down to not feeling safe in some way. It’s the uncertainty, it’s uncomfortable. When we feel this way we most often allow ourselves to get drawn back into the zone of the known – our comfort zone. It’s not really comfortable at all, but it’s the place where our mind can predict our results because we’ll be thinking and behaving in the same old ways.

Our life is predictable as we repeat the same patterns over and over… that is, until we get fed up, stuck, depressed or ill and we decide it’s finally time to do something very differently.

 

Getting Out of Your Own Way

Perhaps you’ve been wanting to change something for a while, for months or even years and you haven’t started or succeeded. You might have wanted to make a change in career or job role, to your fitness and health, your relationships, your beliefs, the way you think, or the quality of your life.

If you have, I’d encourage you to ask yourself these questions:

  •  What’s stopped you taking action up to now?
  • How long have you wanted to or been trying to make the change or changes?
  • How much longer are you willing to put up with things as they are?
  • What would you like your life to be like in 6 months or 1 year?
  • Where will it be if you don’t do something different now?

You see, to change something, you’ve actually got to change something. I know that sounds obvious, yet so many people stay in their comfort zone even when it really hurts.

The people who don’t ever seem to quite get there, or who always hold themselves back will always have reasons and excuses as to why they can’t do something, why they haven’t started or finished what they started, or why it’s not possible to achieve what they want to be, do or have. They really believe their reasons as though they were hard facts.

They’re not, they have made it up to fit their reality. It’s just one way of thinking out of many possible ways of thinking. You can change something no matter what, there’s always a way. You can decide.

A few years ago I had a client who burnt out – she was a solo parent supporting her family and worked really hard yet never seemed to be able to achieve the goals she wanted. She repeated that pattern of working really hard, never quite having enough and burning out and feeling miserable until it finally became too much and she came to me for help.

You see, she didn’t know at that point why she kept repeating these patterns – she didn’t know she could change, yet she was willing to take that risk and move from her comfort zone.

Her goal for her family was big – she had too much to lose and so much to gain. In just a few months she’d totally transformed. Three years on and her life looks very different, the chronic stress has gone, she gets twice as much done in half the time, she’s in a really happy relationship and she knows she can create anything she wants in her life. The difference between this woman and others is she took action and invested in herself and her life. She took determined action. She had a clear ‘Why’ – her family, which was a huge motivator.

 

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The Price of Staying the Same

The main reasons I hear as to why someone can’t do something they really want to are, “I can’t afford it,” “I can’t spend that sort of money on myself,” “I don’t have the time,” “it won’t work for me,” “it’s not the right time.”

Often, when I’ve met them six months or a year later, they’re still unsatisfied, doing the same things and complaining. They’re still arguing for all the limitations as to why they can’t be, do, and have what they want.

So, what sits beneath these reasons? Essentially it’s fear and limiting beliefs, including a lack of self belief. It’s also a lack of clarity on their values in one or more areas of life. Instead, there’s stress, anxiety and worry from endless, ‘What if’s,’ that focus on what could go wrong or badly.

I get it, I used to be really indecisive and worried about making the wrong decision. I wanted to be sure, yet it held me back. This all changed when I learned NLP.

One thing I learned was to listen to my excitement. You know that feeling that comes from your gut? Excitement and anxiety cause the same physiological response – it’s the label we put on it that generates the ensuing cascade of thoughts. I learned that there’s rarely a wrong decision, there are simply different consequences. It depends on the frame we put around something. Is it a frame of possibility, impossibility, probability, or improbability?

I found framing that feeling as excitement meant I was more likely to make the decision than if I framed it as nervousness or anxiety. It really can be that simple!

Progress requires some discomfort, which comes from uncertainty about the outcome and that’s where the excitement lies. The anticipation of a new adventure, a new success, a new learning is exciting. To progress, you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

If you’re holding yourself back with reasons of ‘why not’ and ‘what if’ scenarios, set aside some time to recognise and reduce the resistance to being, doing, and having what you want. Instead, feel the excitement and take action on a new and exciting adventure!

Feel the fear and do it anyway…

Susan Jeffers coined this phrase in her 1987 ground breaking book of the same title. She was onto something.

If you are ready to make the changes then first get clear on what’s important to you and for you. Using my previous client example – she wanted to be a leader for her children and show them how to take care of themselves and honour their own needs by attending to her own. She realised investing in herself was investing in them and their future.

Next, write down all your reasons why you can’t or the things you perceive are in the way.

For example:

“I don’t deserve to have this.” What value does this mean you assign to yourself? Energy flows where attention goes. When you value yourself, other people value you.

“I don’t have the money, I can’t afford it” Where have you said this before and yet you’ve found the money? Can you pay in instalments, or reduce certain costs?

“I don’t have the time.” The same thing applies, when have you made time for something else that you wanted or decided to change your plans in a moment? We make time for the things we want.

“It might not work.” When have you met an unforeseen challenge before and got through it? You have the resources to rely on yourself, you are capable so invest in your self-belief once more.

Now, what can you take action on? Start with one step and focus your attention on what you want and more importantly, its value – why it’s important in the long run – this will be your driver..

 

The Power of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

If you’ve been on the fence about learning NLP, know that it’s an investment that will have a domino effect on your life. NLP equips you with the tools to dissolve limiting beliefs, reframe your thinking, change unwanted behaviours and create lasting change. It teaches you how to really listen to yourself, harness your intrinsic motivation and turn your goals into reality. By understanding and utilising NLP principles, you can transform your mindset and behaviour’s, and ultimately, your life.

So, is it time to finally make a change? With NLP, you can get out of your own way, overcome the price of staying the same, and seize the opportunity to transform your life. If not now, when?

The power to change is within your reach. Whoever you think you are, you are much more, of that I’m sure, because we all are. So, invest in the future you with our next NLP Practitioner / Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner training and watch as you begin to achieve everything you’ve set out to do. Easy payment plans are available to make it possible for you to do now.

And your next step…is to arrange a call here.